Page Number: 65

The Way Bricks Don't

April 27th, 2004

PAGE FOOTNOTES:  Every civilization, every culture, develops unique slang terms. In Pastellian youth culture, the equivalent of 'cool' is the word 'windy'. If something is super-neato and ultra-keen, then it is surely windy indeed. On the surface, one would imagine the slang term has an obvious origin, being that to live on a rectilinear flying continent in Pastel is to constantly face a never-ceasing wind appoximately equal to an earthly 40 kph gust. Curiously, this fact of constant wind is not the origin of the slang term.

In actuality, the slang comes from the old subculture of the Adsero, also called the Adsero Deformiter, more recently the Drapeta-Umor...the 'Runaway Slaves' that once served the Pastellians in centuries past. The Drapeta-Umor are of course the Tryslmaistan Jellese, the blob-like, formless natives of that universe, which, about a hundred and fifty years in the past managed to revolt and escape from the humans of Pastel. It is known that they have spread and settled on distant rectilands; occasionally a colony of them is found during human expansion, and war briefly wages, the Jellese always losing, forced to flee.

Pastel has not been as kind to the Jellese as it has been to the humans, though the humans have suffered too, in that their once greatly lengthened lifespans have shrunk back to years equivalent to those of we on earth. The physics of Pastel are not as generous as the highly anti-entropic Tryslmaistan, and this is a difficult thing.

The Drapeta-Umor, the transplanted Jellese, cannot rely on anentropic physics to make up for their wasteful and unique crystalline biology, and so the loss of ambient energy must be made up for in food...the Jellese in Pastel are forced to consume nearly constantly merely to survive, and even then are weak, sickly, and suffering. They have become nearly constantly acidic to the touch, dissolving nutrients through their surfaces even as they rest, making of them something altogether too uncomfortably close to the kind of Jelly monsters one encounters in console Role-Playing Games. Their native culture is entirely gone, and in its place is a purely derivitive human-style culture, a slave culture, created in desperation and pain.

One problem they suffer from their digestion is the Jellese equivalent of gas, though they have no intestines, and the gas builds up inside their domed, formless bodies, in large pockets. They were once forced, by the humans, to squeeze that gas out through tiny shaped pores, to make whistling music to entertain their masters, and from these Adsero, slave, entertainers, came the slang term 'windy' representing the odorless wind passing out from them, a musical wind. When the Jellese music truly 'rocked' in Pastel, it was said to be 'windy', and the human masters would 'wind-out' to the music made by their slaves.

Though more than a century has passed since the Jellese became the hunted Drapeta-Umor, the slang term for their musical prowess is still in usage among the humans of Pastel. 

For more on the Jellese, see Unicorn Jelly.

By Jennifer Diane Reitz

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